This is the poem I wrote recently, when I omitted 'E'. I also found the poem Vox Dei, not sure if it's on this blog, but the thing is that it's different than what I have on my computer. What I must have done is typed up half of it then forgotten it and when I came back to it I wrote something completely different just to get it finished. So I'll have to work on the poem since the original ending is quite good.
At last I am in bed, like a bed I am like a bed,
Undercovers where the warmth hums thru square mechanic lungs,
And I am just thinking – not even moving to
Move to write nor breathing to move to breathe, I am still!
I am Medusa's eyes, bearing down on me pricks like
The stabs of a pin cushion, and the
Taste of her eyes, look at me! Cannot see me –
Sees others ready for her – Not I done just yet –
At last O sweet death! I am concrete at last!
Lights blue green pink in front, she in front lights
Up blue then green then pink I go red black metal
Shines – or shone with wet ice as ice thawed and I
Sweat and shake from ice the last nervous leaf on a bare
Tree planted in concrete – even down here where
The shadows play in salt and ice and cold hum of rain burn
Thru skin until your thawed body naked flesh falls off
In fleshy clumps of muscle and skin into your hand –
You bony thing – peel off clothes, shed skin, you
Bony thing, you dance and cry like a mad siren,
You dance and cry in the street all covered in madness;
In the words: vox dei, vox dei,
Pulls hairs from arms all calm as Bhai Taru Singh will sing
And dance in bones, like horrific mobile – bearing down pricks like
This into skin, you wear your skin so snug and tight,
A woman of marble, eyes of a lioness –
Stabs like a cushion of pins and, where she cannot see,
The sin the sin the sin!
Ever down here where concrete tree planted blue green
Red pink in front pink taste body naked flesh pink
Red, pink thawed body ready for her eyes!
And me, Baba Budha wise, covered in madness –
It's like she never ends,
The possibility of ending her
Ends in endless possibility
Of ending ...