I am at the train station. It is cold and the sounds of trains are an off-perfect 15 mins. or so scream. This designated scream occurs when I least know, and wakes me up from a dream, where I sit slouched on this cold metal bench, which displaces the blood from my legs, absorbs into the atmosphere in the form of vapour and I become constricted and white/blue, shivering until it hurts my shoulders and cannot recover the muscle so I leave it spasming as some kind of electrode in me.
I slept here. I always sleep here. No one knows I sleep here. If they find out they wouldn't let me, but I'd find another place to sleep because I always have to sleep. No one else sleeps but me. The world keeps on moving and I keep still on this bench. I feel so tired. When I wake, on the off-perfect time every 15 or so mins. the devil bursts out of me with laughter and hopes to kamikaze in front of a moving train, but cannot since I must catch the train soon, and if I am dead then I cannot get the train. I only need to rest now. Just before the train gets here.
It is night. It is cold. I am surrounded by unfortunate dreams of darkness in a medium of motion, always going away from someone's arms, and then the scream like this: Aaaaahhhhh! But kind of electrical, too, like Zchurkkkkk or something. The blue flash frightens me, lights up the whole world, reveals this unreal world of black and white lines like a broken TV – lasts a second and I relax and go back to sleep. I am so tired.
I'll catch the next train. There is someone I want to be with. When I get there I will hold her in my arms. I'll just rest first, then I'll go. I'll catch the next train. I don't know how long I've been here. The night seems to have been here forever. The night is my best friend, we've always known each other – I sleep and no one else sleeps, so we get along pretty well.
I had a conversation with the person I'm going to see. I remember it perfectly. It went like this:
'I do love you, you know.'
'Oh yes, I do know that.'
'Don't you think we should get married and all that?'
'Oh yes, I do think we should do all that.'
'Yes, why the hell not, eh?'
'That's just fantastic for me and for you.'
'Yes, it is fantastic.'
'We'll be together forever.'
' … '
' … Forever.'
'Yes, forever. We'll be together forever. And we'll die together.'
'Yes, we'll die together.'
'We can't die if we're not together.'
'But – '
' – I have to go now. Bye.'
Oh that's right, I was going away. I'll catch this next train now. I hear it on the other side of my sleep. It's coming in an off-perfect time of 15 mins. or so. But I feel so tired. It is very cold here by myself.