I did the reading on Wednesday and it went very well. Although, having kept myself free from nerves for the entire day, I fell nervous to the point of being sick as we walked to the building. I sat near the front of the Everyman Bistro drinking water, and I'd been unwell for a couple of days (this being the day before I went on antibiotics) I thought I might either vomit on stage or collapse. I didn't, I stumbled over one word and hate the sound of my voice in microphone, but it went down well. And because they thought I'd still be in class (I'd left early) they put me last. But I'm glad I did it, it's like breaking down a barrier for myself, and I'll feel a little more comfortable doing it again.
I read out Explosion #1 and #2 but I made crossings out on it while in class.
If we rummaged here in the bedroom,
We from earthquakes –
Would feel the explosion,
As black smoke blacks out the black sky,
A red to the left of the window
Embers like fireflies dance in the moonlight,
And you'd say: 'my heart is beating really fast in my chest.'
Black night had wrapped its fingers round your neck,
Almost beside me, the fire burns outside,
Stockings now boil in a teapot
Beside an old, frail towel-hook,
In the shape of a clawed hand –
We are rustling like leaves in the dark,
Only as eyes and the occasional tooth-shine,
Or a golden onlay, broken on one side –
I imagine you: “Don't be so pregnant,”
Which then swells and bursts, or explodes,
And your other-side saying: “I'm getting married,”
As your heart beats in your chest
That is the same sound, or throbbing feeling,
In my neck or throat –
A woman who has dirty blonde hair,
Is taken away for the embers of the exploded
Car outside, that rumbles us in shifting earthquakes –
Crossed in the air, Hail Mary full of Grace,
Written all over your face,
A red to the left of the window,
Your heart was beating really fast.